Fear to Return
6 weeks into my relocation I had to return home for a family event. I was physically sick from anxiety. My family is wonderful and caring but nosey and judgey occasionally. I wasn’t prepared for countless prying questions. I had nothing to brag about but a bipolar old guy I met at a red light and that I was a 5 star workaholic. I was excelling at my job quickly. I was hungry to prove to my new team that I was worthy of the salary I requested and of their respect as a dependable team member. I was achieving that goal and was so proud of myself.
This journey pushed me to process a lot of the emotional distress I had allowed to build up. With the help of a great therapist, I’ve found healthy ways to process and grow.
The trip turned out to be amazing and I was sick for no reason. Typical mindset of an over thinker. But growth, right? 🙌🏼 amen to that.
Part of my drive to move was to adventure. To make up for the lost time I spent giving everything I had to a marriage that was unsaveable. In order for me to heal, I pushed myself to find what I had only dreamed of before. I wanted to give to myself everything I had spent years giving to someone else. I needed to find myself and then learn to love her in all her natural glory. And it’s been one helluva ride!
On to post 4!