Homesick and FOMO
Today one of my best friends is getting married to his high school sweetheart. I’m missing it. Insert ugly crying images now. I’m so heartbroken to miss it. Moving so far away was hands down the best thing I could’ve ever done for myself, but days like this make it extra hard. It was peak COVID when I moved, so I wasn’t missing out on much of anything at first. There were no gatherings, no weddings allowed, etc. I didn’t even think about the possibility of missing weddings, family reunions, graduations, milestones. I dreamed up this perfect life where I could afford to not miss anything, and I’d be there for the important moments. When does anything ever go exactly as planned? Before we lost an income in dec, we were living that dream.
It was planned for us to attend Mardi Gras inn 2023, that didn’t happen. I wanted to attend a family reunion, that didn’t happen. I wanted to go to my best friend’s wedding, that didn’t happen. Next is a family trip in May. Fingers crossed that I can see my family, finally. I hope to see lots of pics and videos from the wedding. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with missing it. I can just imagine the shenanigans.
I don’t do well with FOMO, obvi. And I’m just generally homesick these days. I miss my godchild, and my cousins, and all the milestones we talked about 10 years ago. Ten years ago I would never have believed anyone if they told me I’d be living in Colorado right now. It’s been five months since I saw my favorite humans, and every day gets a little harder. Not knowing when I’ll be able to see them, doesn’t make any of it easier.